


Take Me Home

by CrybabiesParty



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Angst, Dark!Lance, Lance (Voltron) is a bully, M/M, Past Torture, Self-Harm, Torture, sensitive topics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-21
Updated: 2018-11-29
Packaged: 2019-05-25 18:31:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14983082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrybabiesParty/pseuds/CrybabiesParty
Summary: Lance is captured by the Galra and returned two(2) years later. The paladins are happy to have back their favorite flirtatious Blue Paladin. Only thing is that Lance has changed, deeply. The team brushes it off as Lance recovers from the Galra kidnapping. They soon realize that long afterwards, he is still acting differently. When confronted about it, things go awry.





	1. Chapter 1

**2 years...**

**That’s how long it’s been...**

Today marked the second year Lance has been on this Galra ship. He could vaguely remember being on a mission with the other paladins at the time. This was before taking a hit to the back of the head and going unconscious. When he came to, he was lying strapped down on a metal table, fighting tight restraints. Lance grimaced at the thoughts that followed. He did not like going back to those times. However, Lance had become numb to the pain and it didn’t affect him as badly.

Lance was staring at the bare wall when he heard soldiers approach his containment cell. “Lotor wishes to see you, filth.” The soldier spat, opening his cage. Lance felt rough hands grab his arms and lift him up. He didn’t dare fight back. Lance had been through this routine day in and day out. Lotor would demand his presence and things would either go up hill or down hill from there. When Lance first arrived, they interrogated him to see if he would give in and spill all the secrets about Voltron. Lance had been non compliant the entire time, no matter how much torture and pain was inflicted onto him. Lance would do anything to keep his teammates safe.

The soldiers opened the door to Lotor’s chambers and threw Lance roughly inside, closing the door behind him. Lance had been in here enough times to know his way around. Lance sat down in the nearest chair and waited for Lotor to show up. “I see the soldiers treated you well,” Lotor announced stepping into the room. Silence. “Oh don’t be sad love, I come bearing great news.” Lance looked up to see a toothy grin plastered on Lotor’s charming face.

Lotor strolled over to where Lance was sitting and began massaging his shoulders. Lance, leaning into the prince’s touch, couldn’t deny that the massage felt amazing. “I’ve decided to let you go home.” Lance jumped at the news. 

“Wha-a, r-really?” 

“Yes, I’m feeling good today and you look like you could use some time away-“ Lotor was cut off by arms wrapped around his waist. 

“Thank you.”

Lotor returned the hug and began speaking again, “But first, one or two things need to be done before I let you go free.”

”Like what?” Lance questioned.

”Well, I need to send the princess a message saying that you’re arriving soon,” Lotor replied tucking a loose hair behind Lance’s ear, “But I was thinking before that we could spend our last few moments _together_.” Lance understood what Lotor was talking about and couldn’t bring himself to say no. 

“O-okay,” was all Lance responded with.

”Great, I’ll start the bath. I want you looking clean for your team.” Lotor planted a kiss on Lance’s forehead before walking off. Lance couldn’t believe it, _he was going home_. 

~~~*-*~~~

_**Meanwhile on the Castle of the Lions...** _

”Princess, we are receiving a message from someone,” Coran spoke up noticing the notification he just recieved.

”Does it say who it is?” Allura questioned. 

“I can’t read who it’s from.”

”Let me call the rest of the paladins first.” Allura signaled the rest of the paladins to come to the main room and within seconds they arrived.

”What is it Princess,” Shiro asked alert.

”We are receiving a message from an unknown caller and I want you all present for when we answer it.”

”Roger that.”

”Coran, you may now answer the call.” Coran pressed a button on the control pad and a blurry image of a person appeared onscreen. It took a while for the image to come into focus and once it did, the rest of the paladins gasped. “Lotor!”

”Aw, Princess Allura, you sure did take a long time to answer. I was afraid you weren’t home.” Lotor’s voice came in crystal clear and sharp. 

“Speak your business now Lotor or I am ending this call,” Allura spat with venom embedded deep within her words.

”I wouldn’t do that Princess. You see, I have very wonderful news to share with you all.”

”What ‘wonderful’ news could you possibly want to share with us now.”

“The news I wanted to share is that I’m returning your beloved blue Paladin.” This grabbed everyone’s attention, especially Keith’s.

”What are you talking about?” Allura demanded, staring Lotor straight in the eyes. 

“I’m sure you all remember the day your fellow teammate went missing?” How could anyone forget, it happened during a mission 2 years ago. Everything was going fine until the team was spotted by a Galran soldier. After that, everything passed in a blur. The paladins were evacuating and barely escaped with their lions when the ship exploded and they never saw their blue Paladin again. Everyone thought Lance died in the explosion but that didn’t stop the team from trying to locate Lance and his lion. The lion was found on a deserted planet but with no Lance. It wasn’t till about a day later when they recieved a message saying Lance was taken captive by the Galra. Pidge tried to find Lance, but with no luck. 

“What does that have to do with anything?” Allura was becoming more impatient by the minute. 

“I just want to say I have him and I want to return him to you as soon as possible.” 

“How do I know you are not lying to us.” 

Because Lance is right here-” Lotor held up a screen that displayed Lance tied up and blindfolded in a dark room. No one could tell if Lance was sleeping or unconscious. They just hoped he was okay.

”You monster, what have you done to him?” Allure was steaming with rage and pent up anger.

”I’ll let him tell you when I return him. I thought I made that clear. I’m sending Lance to your location in a pod. You should recieved him in a few moments. I promise he will return to you unharmed.”

”Fine, but if I find out that you are lying to us, I will take pleasure in personally ripping your limbs off one by one and shoving them up your QUIZNAK!” Allura ended the call before Lotor could utter another word. Everyone was quiet the whole time the conversation lasted but when it ended, everyone was bursting with questions. 

“Is Lance really coming home?” “Is he okay?” “What happened to him?” “When is he arriving?” Allura could feel a headache beginning to take form. 

“JUST SHUT UP!” Silence. “I don’t know exactly what’s happening but I do know that Lance is coming home and we need to prepare for his arrival.” The rest of the paladins nodded in agreement.

”Ugh Princess, I don’t mean to spoil the moment but I’m picking up on an incoming pod.” Coran pulled up an image of a pod quickly headings towards the castle.

”Alright everyone, I need you to stay alert. Hunk, can you get a healing pod ready just incase?” Hunk nodded before running off to prepare the pod. “Everyone else follow me, it’s time we welcome home our long lost friend.” Everyone followed behind Allura as she made her way to the deck. They couldn’t believe it,  _Lance was coming home._


	2. Chapter 2

Allura, Coran, and the other paladins were patiencely waiting for the arrival of Lance’s pod. Nervous tension flooded the room, but soon let up as the pod moved closer until it landed, safetly. Hunk rushed towards it and yanked the door open, revealing Lance in a fetal position. The team couldn’t tell if there was any eternal damage until they delivered Lance into the healing pod, but they did notice a few bruises littered across his body.

“Shiro, I need you to carefully pick up Lance and gently carry him into the pod Hunk prepared!” Allura ordered, crawling carefully into the pod.

”On it.”

”What do you want the rest of us to do in the meantime?” Keith asked, worry creeping into his voice.

”I want the rest of you to remain calm and alert in case of emergencies. Coran and I will monitor Lance’s healing progress. There’s nothing to worry about, Lance will be okay.” Allura tried her best to keep her voice steady and not let her emotions take over, but barely succeeded. The team let the words sink in but still found worry and dread in their hearts.

~~~*_*~~~

**2 months later...**

Everyone tried to distract themselves with different activities. Keith busied himself training day and night. Hunk spent his hours in the kitchen making and remaking recipes. Pidge distracted herself with her gadgets and machines. Shiro occupied himself pacing his room and recieving little sleep. Allura and Coran studied Lance’s progress closely and concluded that he may wake up any day now. Everyone was on edge, waiting for the good news. They seemed to never come. Until...

“EVERYONE QUICK, to the castle’s infirmary!” The paladins heard the command and bolted quickly as possible to the bay. They arrived anxious and waiting.

“What is it Allura?” Shiro asked.

”Lance is waking up.” Allura moved aside and the team could see that Lance was in-fact waking up. Lance opened his eyes and the team was ecstatic to see those familiar dark blue eyes staring back at them. “Coran, please open the pod.”

”Yes Princess.”

The pod’s barrier gave away and Lance took a step out, but falling immediately. Hunk caught him before he could hit the ground. Everyone gathered around and watched Lance regain himself. “What happened to me?” Lance spoke in a raspy voice.

“Lance, what do you remember?” Allura asked.

”Not much. I remember receiving a hit to the back of the head and then that’s it, nothing else.” Lance was slowly making his way into an upright position, Hunk steadying him as he did. Lance’s body appeared to have improved during his 2 month healing process. No more bruises were scattered across his body and more color returned to his skin. “What exactly did happen?”

Allura responded gloomily, ”You were kidnapped by the Galra and taken prisoner. You were gone for two years before the Galra gave you back to us. However, you obtained many severe injuries. As a result, you spent the following two months in a healing pod.”

Lance nodded silently, finally able to stand up. “What about Blue, is she okay.”

“She’s fine, Allura’s been taking very good care of her,” Shiro said reassuringly. Lance still seemed sad but nodded anyway. “As of right now, you need to rest.”

“I’ve just spent the last two months asleep in a pod, I think I’m fine.” Lance went to take a step but ended up tripping and almost falling again if Hunk hadn’t caught him.

“That proves that you need rest. Hunk, escort Lance to his room and make sure he stays put.” By the sound of his voice, Shiro was not going to have it any other way. Hunk left the room with Lance clinging tightly to his side. 

“Do you think he’s going to be okay?” Keith asked, placing a hand on Shiro’s shoulder. 

“The healing pod should have taken care of his injuries?”

”I don’t mean physically, Shiro, I mean mentally. Lance was with the Galra for two years. Who knows what they did to him. I mean, you still have panic attacks from when you were kidnapped. And Lance isn’t as strong-minded as you are. I’m worried for him.”

”We all are, Keith. We just have to let time take over and see what happens.” Shiro looked into Keith’s eyes and Keith could see truth behind his words. 

“Okay, but I think we should go easy on Lance until he recovers some more. Agreed?” Everyone nodded. 

“Now that it’s agreed on, we should get some rest. It’s been a long day.” Everyone concurred with Shiro and headed towards their rooms.

~~~*_*~~~

”We’re almost there Lance, just a bit farther.” Hunk walked slowly, still supporting Lance with his arm. Lance took leisurely steps but seemed to gain more strength along the way. 

“I-I think I got it Hunk, thank you.” Lance went to make a move to walk on his own, taking steps with his hand on the wall. Lance seemed to be doing fine until he took another step and fell. Hunk was quick to be beside Lance. This did not make Lance happy. “GODDAMIT HUNK, LET ME DO THIS BY MYSELF!”

Hunk was stunned. Lance rarely cussed and for him to snap at Hunk was surprising. Lance picked himself up and finished walking to his room, Hunk behind him. Lance opened the door, stepped inside, and shut the door before Hunk had a chance to enter. Hunk, perplexed and hurt, just replied with a “goodnight” and left.

~~~*_*~~~

**Next morning...**

”Good morning everyone,” Allura announced cheerfully. Sleepy responses answered Allura’s happiness. “I hope you’re ready for a day of hard training.” Groans were her answer. “Has anyone seen Lance?” Confused glances were shared around the room. Apparently no one has seen Lance. “Does anyone want to go get him?” No answer...

”Maybe we should leave Lance alone.” This time it was Hunk who said something. 

“Why do you say that Hunk?”

“Last night, while taking Lance to his room, he fell and when I tried to help him he snapped at me. And when I say snap, I don’t mean a quick angry remark, I mean he yelled and cussed at me.”

Pidge was the first one to speak up, “That doesn’t seem like Lance. Lance rarely gets angry, especially to the point where he cusses at someone.”

”Lance is probably still shaken up about the Galra. He just needs time.” 

“Why are you all talking about me? You couldn’t get enough of old Lancey-Lance?” The room looked towards the doorway to see Lance leaning on the door frame. 

“Lance, I’m glad to see that you’re up and about. Do you think you’re ready for some training?” 

“Are you kidding? I was born ready.”


	3. Chapter 3

“For today’s training, we are going to start a little easy but progress into harder levels. Is everyone ready?” Cheers from the team confirmed they were. “Great. Coran and I decided to pair you all into teams. Hunk is with Pidge. Shiro is going to be with me. And Lance will be with Keith. We will start with hand-to-hand combat. The first one to have their opponent fall to the ground wins.”

The team paired up and began combat. Pidge tripped Hunk and won the round. Allura body-slammed Shiro and won the next round. It was now down to Lance and Keith. “I hope your ready mullet. This is not going to be easy,” Lance teased.

”Please, I can take you with one hand tied behind my back. But I’ll go easy on you.”

”Then it wouldn’t be much of a fight, now would it?”

Allura raised her hand and began the countdown. “3...2...1...FIGHT!”

Keith came at Lance fast but Lance was more agile. He dogded Keith and came back with a kick to his back. Keith stumbled but regained his balance. He however didn’t have enough time to react when Lance suddenly grabbed Keith’s arm and pinned it painfully behind his back. Keith groaned in pain and told Lance to stop, but Lance seemed to not hear him. Without warning, Lance slung Keith by his arm into the wall behind him. Everyone gasped when Keith’s body connected with the metal and a sizeable dent was left behind. Keith fell to the floor, unconscious.

Shiro was the first one to Keith’s side. Shiro checked for a pulse and sighed in relief when he felt a faint one thumping under the skin. Shiro picked Keith up bridal style and walked out of the room. Everyone else turned their attention to Lance. “LANCE, WHAT THE HELL?!” Pidge yelled in Lance’s face. Lance seemed to not be paying attention to Pidge. He just stared off into space with a blank expression. It wasn’t until Pidge grabbed Lance’s arm that he reacted.

“Wh-what happened? Where did Keith and Shiro go?” This pissed Pidge off more.

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? DID YOU EAT A BRAIN TUMOR FOR BREAKFAST? You threw his entire body into a metal wall and left a HUGE dent. You better be lucky he’s not dead. He yelled at you to stop and you kept going. I know that you have had a rough time lately and we are all very sorry for what you went through. We understand you’re hurting, Lance. BUT THAT DOESN’T GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO KILL SOMEONE OVER IT!”

 

Saying Lance was angry was a MASSIVE understatement. “You ‘understand.’ You ‘understand.’ YOU ‘UNDERSTAND!’” By now, Lance was red in the face and all up in Pidge’s business. “YOU UNDERSTAND NOTHING! You don’t know what they did to me every night on that GOD-FORSAKEN ship. You don’t know anything about the endless nights of constant torture. You could never possibly understand how many times I wanted to end it all just to escape the pain, only to be brought back to life and face the same nightmare. I was forced to do things I didn’t want to do just to survive. I had to lie, cheat, steal and worst of all... I HAD TO KILL! So you,“ Lance grabbed Pidge tightly by the neck and hoisted her up in the air, “don’t tell me you ‘understand’ when you understand zip.”

 

Pidge was pleading, “L-Lance plea-ease... l-let go. I’m s-s-sorry.” Lance ignored Pidge and held on tighter. Pidge, eyes showcasing her life slowly depleting, stared into Lance’s eyes. Anger, utter anger, swirled and twisted behind the eye’s film. It scared Pidge. And then, as if the anger was never there, it disappeared and in its place was now looks of sadness and tears. Lance let Pidge go and she fell to the ground, gasping for breath.

 

Lance was heaving and gasping, looking at the hand that was once on Pidge’s throat. He looked so scared and frightened, as if he was about to pass out. Then, he ran. Lance ran out of the training room and down the hall. He disappeared from view. Hunk was immediately by Pidge’s side. “Oh my god, Pidge, are you okay?”

 

“I’m fine, just *gasp* need to rest.” Pidge got up from the ground with Hunk’s assistance.

 

“Allura, Coran, I’ll walk Pidge to her room. Then I’m going to bed. I’m dead tired from all this. I hope you understand.”

 

“Of course Hunk. In fact, I as well would like to lay down. My head is throbbing and I cannot focus. Coran, if you please, make sure everything is seen to.” Allura walked out of the room and soon Coran was the only one left.

 

-*sigh*- “What has happened to that dear boy? Oh King Alfor, if only you were here in our time of need.”

 

**_meanwhile w/ Lance..._ **

 

“Stupid, stupid, stupid” Lance was currently sitting on the bathroom floor, curled up in the fetal position. He was surrounded by pieces of shattered glass like confetti. Ever since he realized he hurt Pidge, Lance locked himself in the bathroom. Shortly after, he punched the mirror. Resulting in a bloody knuckle. ‘I can’t believe I tried to murder not one, but two of my friends. Everyone must hate me right now. I’ll never be able to show my face again.’ Lance uncurled from his position and laid down. He was both physically and emotionally drained from the prior events. Even though he was tired, Lance’s mind still continued to race with hurtful thoughts. It was becoming unbearable. Mustering up enough energy, the blue paladin reached out and grabbed the largest shard of glass. Lance stared at his reflection and saw nothing but an empty shell of a broken man. Disgusted with himself, Lance took one hard swipe to his arm and released. The feeling was euphoric. Finding new delight in the gesture, Lance continued to swipe and swipe again and again until crimson liquid flowed everywhere. That night, Lance slept better than he had in ages.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this may seem like the end of the story, but trust me it’s not. I also apologize for the long wait. I have been busy with homeschooling, so my timetable is pretty full. I’m also new to using this website, so I’m still figuring out the mechanics. If you have a question or opinion, leave it in the comments below.


	4. Chapter 4

_** Following morning... ** _

 

“Good morning everyone,” Hunk merrily said as he entered the dining room for breakfast. The team, excluding Lance, replied with simple good mornings and hellos. “Man, I’m starving. I feel like eating an entire buffet-“

 

“Don’t fill up too much Hunk,” Allura interrupted, “we have a big day of training ahead of us and I don’t want us being weighed down.”

 

“But Allura, I’m wasting away here. I need my daily vitamins.”

 

“Trust me Hunk, you could skip a meal or two and still have your vitamins,” Pidge inquired. This earned a laugh from the rest of the team and a sulking Hunk. “By the way, Shiro, when is Keith coming back?”

 

“He should be done healing by now. I’m going to go check on him after breakfast.”

 

“That won’t be necessary,” an all-to-familiar voice butted in. Everyone turned to find Keith standing in the doorway with a tired expression on his face.

 

“Keith, buddy, you’re alright!” Hunk picked Keith up in his arms, granting him a giant bear hug, and twirled him around. Keith was saying let go because he was still a tad bit sore and Hunk placed him down gently. “Sorry, I get carried away.” Hunk blushed in embarrassment.

 

“It’s alright big fellow. I understand you much you missed me.”

 

“I’m not the only one.” Hunk moved to the side and Keith could see the team huddled together, ready for a group hug. The team wrapped their arms around Keith and vice versa.

 

After a few seconds, Keith asked, “where’s Lance? I want to tell him there’s no hard feelings for what happened.” Keith noticed the uneasiness creep on the team’s face and was, in turn, confused. “What’s wrong? Is Lance okay?” It was hard for Keith to conceal his worry.

 

“We haven’t seen Lance since yesterday afternoon and we think it would be best if we leave him alone for now.” Allura spoke gently as she rested a hand on Keith’s shoulder.

 

“Why? What happened? I demand you tell me now!”

 

“Lance and Pidge got in a fight and it didn’t end, okay. Afterwords, Lance just ran off and we haven’t seen him since then.” Shiro’s eyes showed sorrow as he looked at Keith’s reaction to the news. He looked confused and angry.

 

“What happened between Lance and Pidge exactly?” No one said a word. They just remained silent for the most part. Of course, Keith was becoming impatient with the silence. “I’m waiting...” The team just looked at each other, waiting for one of them to say something, Pidge eventually gave in and walked closer to Keith. Once she was right in front of him, she pulled down her shirt collar and revealed to Keith the bruise that was left behind from yesterday. “W-What happened!?” Keith muttered, astonished.

 

“Lance became angry with me for yelling at him and he went crazy. Eventually he calmed down and ran off. It was my fault, I shouldn’t have pushed him over the edge.” Pudge looked away, guilt present in her voice and in her mind.

 

“It’s not your fault,” Shiro replied, “you couldn’t have known that he would do that. He surprised all of us.”

 

“I’m not just going to stand here and listen to this. I’m going to go find Lance.” Keith turned and left the dining room, in search of Lance. The team followed shortly behind. Everyone was silent the entire journey to Lance’s room. Upon arrival, the team stared at Lance’s door, not moving.

 

“I think we should let Lance be by himself for a while. Who knows, he may just be sleeping and it would be awfully rude to wake him up.” Hunk was trying his best to talk everyone into leaving Lance alone. It wasn’t working though.

 

“Hunk, Lance could be in trouble or even hurt. And we’re just standing here doing nothing. I’m not taking this sitting down.” Keith made his point and everyone knew it. He raised his hand and knocked on the door. No answer. “Lance, you in there buddy?” No reply.

 

“See, he’s sleeping.” Hunk was turning around to leave when Shiro grabbed his shoulder.

 

“Hunk, you can’t be sure. Keith may be right, Lance could be in trouble. Don’t you want to make sure?”

 

“Yeah, I do. I just don’t want to face the possibility that he could be hurt. I’ve already seen him hurt once and I don’t want that again.” Everyone could feel what Hunk was getting at and they felt the same way.

 

Keith knocked on Lance’s door, a little louder this time. Still no answer. “Lance, can you open the door, I just want to talk. I’m not mad about what happened yesterday. I just wanted to clear things up between us.” The silence that rang from the other side of the door was deafening. People were getting worried by this point. Keith was knocking harder on the door and when nothing happened, he pounded harder. Eventually, he became impatient. “Coran, please open the door.”

 

“Sure thing.” Coran pulled out a tablet and pressed a few buttons. After a second, Lance’s door swung open. Everyone pushed themselves into the room and gasped at the horror sight in front of them. The room was trashed. The bed covers ripped and tossed. Clothes laid torn on the floor and glass was everywhere. People had to be careful where they stepped just so they didn’t cut their feet.

 

That was when Keith noticed the blood on the bathroom tile. Keith made his way to the bathroom while everyone else still looked around horrified. “What happened here?” Allura’s eyes had tears in them as she took in her surroundings.

 

“Ugh guys, you need to see this.” The team turned towards Keith’s voice and saw that he was staring at the floor of the bathroom. They made their way towards him and the new sight brought fresh, bitter tears to their already swollen eyes. Blood was spread everywhere along with shards of glass. It was a sight right out of a horror film. _The only thing missing, however, was Lance._

 

**_Meanwhile in the lion hangar_ **

 

Pain and soreness was the first thing Lance experienced when he woke up. He slowly opened his eyes to be met with bluriness and more pain. His head was throbbing and his body ached. Lance sat up slowly and looked around. He was inside the blue lion. “How did I get here?” This was the main question out of hundreds running through Lance’s head. 

 

_“You know, you should be more grateful for life.”_ A somewhat familiar voice entered Lance’s mind as he sat confused inside the blue lion. The voice reminded Lance of a quiet river slowly trickling over smooth rocks. It was a peaceful thought. 

 

“Blue, is that you?” _Could the blue lion be talking to me right now?_

 

_“Yes my cub, it is. Why have you hurt yourself? Why do something like that to body?”_ Blue’s voice sounded like a mother scolding her child in a caring and fair manner. Concern was deeply present in the lion’s voice and it made Lance’s heart clench. 

 

“I don’t know why exactly, Blue. I guess it was a moment of weakness for me.” Lance didn’t remember much of the experience, he only remembered feeling the warm, graceful peace of falling asleep. A feeling Lance was all too ready to accept. Of course, the feeling was short-lived. 

 

_“If I hadn’t intervened when I did, you would have died. Luckily, I saved your life in time.”_

 

“How did you save me life?”

 

” _Look at your body.”_ Lance looked down and realized that where ever he cut himself, was suddenly replaced by scar tissue glowing a faint blue. The blue light covered every single cut Lance had made in the bathroom. From head to toe, blue lines were scattered on the paladin’s body. Lance was speechless. _“The glow will fade over time and be replaced by regular skin.”_

 

“I don’t know what to say, Blue. Thank you I guess.” Although Lance was grateful for Blue saving him, he still felt guilty knowing that the blue lion had to waste time saving him. The whole experience made Lance feel incompetent. 

 

“ _I want you to say that you promise that you will never defile your skin like this again and you will not attempt anything remotely close to it. I thought I was going to lose my Paladin.”_

 

**“My Paladin”** Those two words reverberated inside Lance’s mind and for some reason, made him feel more guilty. The whole thing was becoming too much for Lance’s mind to figure out. “I guess I better leave now. I need time to be alone.” Lance was about to exit the lion when he was stopped by the same voice.

 

_“Voltron is your family, too. They care deeply about you and do not want to see you hurt. Remember this.”_ Lance looked up at the blue lion, hoping she may say something else. But as he stood there, she remained ever silent. It was the end of that conversation. Once Lance had exited the lion, he could hear the team calling for him. Though Lance was against it, he knew he had to face the team eventually. Now in the light, Lance took notice of his new outfit Blue must have provided for him. Lance was wearing an ocean blue medevial blouse with tan colored pants. Overall, he looked good. Once Lance had finished checking himself out, he walked towards the door and before leaving, looked over at the blue lion one final time. And as the team’s voices got closer, Lance whispered, “ _Thank You.”_


	5. Chapter 5

It has been almost an hour since the team found one of their teammate’s room in disorganization and said teammate’s missing body. They have searched every inch of the ship and turned up with zero luck. Keith was checking the medical bay, Allura was checking the control room, Coran was switching between cameras hoping he would see a familiar face, Pidge was back in Lance’s room searching for clues that could possibly tell where Lance may be, Shiro checked the training room and hallways, and Hunk was in the Lion Hangar. Despite eyes everywhere, Lance seemed to not be found. Hunk was on his way to the kitchen for a snack when Coran’s voice boomed from the intercom, “Paladins, Lance has been spotted. He is currently in the Lion Hangar.” There was no need for explanations, the team was already on hot pursuit.

 

Right as Lance turned the corner, he was tackled by a blur of yellow and green. The sudden motion knocked Lance to the ground and bothered his cuts. He had to keep himself from yelping in pain by biting the inside of his cheek. Before Lance could tell Hunk and Pidge to get off him, he was interrupted by their questions, “Lance where have you been? What happened to your room? Why did you disappear? Are you okay? Do you know how worried we’ve been? Why were you in then Lion’s Hangar? Why weren’t you in your room?” _Lance was going to need strength to get through this._

 

 _”_ Hunk, Pidge, give me room to answer, please. Thank you. I was just hanging out with the Blue Lion. I needed to clear my head so I thought that I would go there.” 

 

“But why didn’t you tell us where you were going? We have been worried sick that you might have been kidnapped or hurt.” 

 

“Since when did I need to inform you where I’m going. Last time I checked, you weren’t my babysitter.” The amount of disdain in Lance’s voice was surprising to everyone. _Where did the sudden anger come from?_

 

 _”_ We didn’t mean to offend you, Lance. We were just worried because we thought you were hurt, that’s all.” Shiro stepped forward. 

 

“Why would you think I was hurt?”

 

”Because of the state of your room. It was horrifying.” Pidge answered. 

 

“What’s wrong with my room? Why were you even in there in the first place?” Lance was starting to get angry again. 

 

“How could you not remember? It was-“ Hunk was interrupted by Shiro.

 

”It doesn’t matter anymore. For now, let us forget about it and move on. Obviously, Lance is not in the mood to talk about it.” Shiro turned around and left, leaving the others puzzled. Keith soon followed behind Shiro. The others turned back towards Lance. 

 

Hunk was the first to say something, “Anyways, Lance we should get you something to eat. I don’t remember you eating dinner last night and you missed breakfast. How does that sound? Are you hungry?” **_Are you hungry?_**

 

***~*FLASHBACK*~***

 

_“Are you hungry?” The guards laughed as the prisoner remained silent but his stomach did not. The prisoner hadn’t had a bite to eat since yesterday afternoon and it was starting to take its toll. Of course, there was a reason he wasn’t being fed. It was because he tried to escape again and he was being punished. He had been told many times before that “Only the ones who behave get food. If you are disobedient, prepare yourself for a harsh night.” This message was burned into his mind because it has made an almost permanent presence. Some would think that the prisoner would learn by now, learn to give up and rot away in this cell. But no, he would not give up. He would keep finding a way out of this cell and survive even if it ended in his death._

 

_...time skip..._

 

_“Prince Lotor, the prisoner must eat. If this kind of punishment continues any longer, he will die of malnutrition.”_

 

_“Very well, give the human food. I guess we will find another way to make him learn that he should behave like a good slave.” The guards left the room and did as they were told. The prisoner did receive food, but it was very little. It didn’t matter, he took advantage of this moment and ate. But one punishment was traded in for another and it was no better as before..._

 

***~*END FLASHBACK*~***

 

“ _I have misbehaved,”_ Lance said quietly. 

 

“What did you say Lance?” Hunk asked.

 

”Uh, nothing. It was nothing. Why don’t we go to the kitchen and find us a snack.” Lance picked himself up and began walking towards the kitchen. Hunk, worried for his friend, followed shortly behind. Lance and Hunk arrived at the kitchen with Hunk stationing himself at the fridge and Lance hopping atop the counter. 

 

“So, what did you say you wanted again?” 

 

“Just a little snack will be find. I’m not very hungry if I’m honest.”

 

”Are you sure you want just a snack? Aren’t you a little more hungry than that?” 

 

“Not really.” Hunk took notice of how Lance was avoiding eye contact with him by looking at the ground. His hair, having grown longer, shielded his eyes from view. 

 

“I guess I can make something small for you.” Hunk got busy making the snack while Lance jumped down from the counter and walked to the table. Lance sat down as Hunk walked towards him with plate in hand. He sat down the plate and watched as Lance's eyes lit up like a child receiving a new toy as he stared, hungrily, at the snack that was so expertly prepared. Hunk left Lance to eat the snack while he finished washing dishes. Hunk was only turned around for a minute and when he turned back around, he saw that Lance was gone and the snack was only half eaten. 

 

**~**

 

Lance was making his way through the halls towards his room when he saw Pidge and Keith exit his room. Of course, Lance was curious as to why they were snooping in his room. He quietly made his way towards them and eavesdropped on their conversation, “I just can’t belive it, He’s a mess. What are we supposed to do with him.” “Shiro said to leave it alone but I can’t stand by while Lance makes a mess of himself.” “We need to talk to him about it.” “No, not now. We need to wait until He is ready to listen to what we have to say.” Having heard enough, Lance makes his presence known.

 

”Hey guys, what are you talking about?” Lance asked with a fake smile to hide his true feelings. He could tell he caught them by surprise by their facial expressions, but they quickly covered it up. 

 

“Oh, hi Lance. What are you doing here?” Pidge asked nervously.

 

”This is my room. I was feeling tired so I came here to take a nap. What are you two doing in my room?” Lance was hanging onto every last piece of thread to not snap at his friends. It was proving more difficult.

 

”I don’t know what you are talking about, Lance. Pidge and I were just heading to the training area to improve our combat skills. Pidge sure needs it.” Keith let out a weak laugh and Lance was straining to keep a straight face. He kept repeating inside his head not to snap and strangle the two in front of him. 

 

“Oh, well then, I’ll let you be on your way. I’ll be in here if you need me.” Lance walked past Keith and Pidge and into his room. He closed the door and left the other two outside. As he looked around, Lance noticed that his room was completely clean. His bed was made and his clothes were folded and put up. Even the glass was gone. _‘Were Keith and Pidge cleaning my room?’_ Lance let out a tired sigh and walked to his bed. He sat down and rubbed his face. _‘Why am I so stressed. I need to calm down.’_ Usually in this type of situation, Lance would do something to distract him but couldn’t find anything to do. He did, however, think of one thing but if he acted upon it, it would go against the promise he made to Blue Lion. ‘ _There has to be a way to distract myself’_  Lance knew he couldn’t use glass again because it would make a mess and if the others found out what was happening, they would freak. _‘Wait, maybe...’_ Lance suddenly thought of something he could use. He got up and walked over to his backpack and after digging through it, found the item he was searching for. A small dagger that Keith gave him for a Christmas a while back. _‘This will do perfectly, as long as I have self control and don’t go crazy like last time. If this happens, then the Blue Lion won’t find out what I’m doing. And if she doesn’t find out, I’m technically not breaking her promise.’_ It was settled, Lance’s mind was made up. As much as it would hurt the team if they found out... no, they won’t find out. Lance made his way to the bathroom and locked the door. _‘This time will be different...’_


	6. Chapter 6

**~* 3 weeks later *~**

 

Everything aboard the Castle of the Lions seemed to be returning to normal. The team continued working on improving each other’s trust and the results proved positive. Lance was slowly returning to his normal, social self. He laughed a little more, joked around, and even started eating bigger portions. Of course, Lance was still a good bit away from a normal weight. Though Lance now had a thinner frame, it didn’t seem to affect his fighting skills. When the team would go on missions and they encountered a few galran soldiers that looked to be three times his size, Lance would surprise everyone by skillfully knocking the soldiers to their feet and shooting a hole precisely between the eyes. No one questioned this sudden newfound strength because they were just happy that Lance could take care of himself. 

 

Despite the improvements in Lance’s behavior, something else seemed off. From time to time, quite randomly, a sense a rage would overcome his mind. The severity of the anger would vary from being a little irritable to wanting to punch a hole in the wall. Truth be told, it worried Lance. _‘What if I hurt someone? What if I say something hurtful?’_ Thoughts like these ran miles a minute through Lance’s head. Whenever he could feel the anger coming, he would excuse himself from whatever he may be doing and lock himself in his room until it passed. Eventually, it became unmanageable.

 

Lance was hanging out with Pidge in the kitchen, just talking about random things. Pidge started telling Lance a story about something she and her brother did once. Lance was laughing at something Pidge said when he felt it, that overwhelming feeling of wanting to snap a bull’s neck in half. _‘No, not now. Please not now,’_ Lance thought as he was trying to conceal his irritation. He tried getting up to leave when Pidge grabbed his arm, “Don’t leave, I’m not done yet.”  Pidge forced Lance back down in his chair and held him there. With each passing second, the anger inside of Lance increased and multiplied. Is was only only a matter of moments before something he would regret was done. Lance tried focusing on Pidge and her words, but it was the wrong thing to do. It just made him angrier. _‘Why won’t she shut up? Can’t she tell she’s being annoying? Why won’t she let me leave? For God’s sake, SHUT UP!?’_ Lance’s breathing became deep and strained. Pidge kept talking and never stopped. Lance gripped his head in attempt to calm his raging mind. 

 

“And then I was like, ‘Watch where you’re going’ and he said-“ Lance stood up, the chair scraping against the floor catching Pidge’s attention. “Hey Lance, you okay-“ Pidge started before Lance reached out and tore her glasses from her face, and proceeded to crush them in his hand. The wire became bent and the glass shattered, the pieces falling to the floor. Pidge looked at Lance, scared. Lance looked back, breathing heavy and obviously pissed. He let go of the broken glasses and they fell to the floor with a small CLINK. Pidge bent down and picked up the glasses with shaking hands and looked at Lance with tears in her eyes. Lance just turned around walked out of the kitchen. 

 

Once in the hallway, Lance started heaving again.  _'I can't believe I just did that. What is wrong with me?'_ Trying to avoid anymore conflict, Lance started walking to his room, the feelings of anger and wrath still plaguing his mind.  _'As long as I don't run into anybody from now on, I will be fine.'_  Of course, luck was not on Lance's side this day, for just ahead of him was Hunk walking towards him. Lance was internally screaming. He knew there would be no way to avoid running into Hunk and he knew he couldn't go anywhere else and run the risk of bumping into someone else. He just had to face it and hope for the best. 

 

With each step, brought Lance closer to doing something regretful. He was secretly hoping that the anger would pass by the time he reached Hunk. "Oh, hi Lance." Lance quickly glanced up and then moved his gaze back down towards the ground. He mumbled a simple "Hey." 

 

"Where are you going, Lance?" Every fiber of Lance's being was straining to not yell at Hunk about how stupid that question was. 

 

"Just to my room." Lance said through gritted teeth. Hunk noticed the tone of voice Lance spoke with.

 

"Are you okay Lance, you seem tense."  _No shit_ _Sherlock_.

 

"I'm fine. I just want to lay down for a minute."

 

"Are you sure? You know, we've all been worried about you lately."  _Just shut up... just shut up... just SHUT UP._

 

"I'm sure. Can I please leave?"

 

"I just think-" 

 

"FOR FUCK'S SAKE HUNK, I JUST WANT TO GO TO MY FUCKING ROOM. DAMMIT, HOW COME I CAN'T DO SOMETHING AS SIMPLE AS THAT. STOP BABYING ME FOR ONE FUCKING SECOND AND LET ME BE!" As soon as Lance was done with his rant, Hunk had run away, crying. Lance groaned in frustration and continued on to his room. 

 

-^_^-

 

 Keith and Shiro were leaving the training room, talking, when they were interrupted by a sobbing Hunk. Hunk ran into Keith, knocking them both to the ground. "Ow, what was that for?" Keith sat up and saw that Hunk was curled into a ball, crying. "Uh, Hunk? Are you okay?" Hunk replied with incoherent words and choked sobs. "What do I do Shiro?"

 

"I don't know, try to get him to tell us what happened." While Keith was trying to console Hunk, Pidge showed up. 

 

"Uh, Shiro?" Shiro turned around and noticed that she didn't have her glasses and that her eyes were red from crying.

 

"Pidge, what happened?"

 

"I don't know. Lance and I were hanging out when all of a sudden he breaks my glasses and leaves." _What, did Lance really do that?_ Shiro was confused as to why Lance would do all of this. Shiro knew that Lance was probably just going through the emotions. 

 

"Shiro, I think I got Hunk under control." Shiro turned towards Keith and Hunk who were sitting on the ground. Keith was sitting crossed-leg with Hunk's head laying in his lap. Hunk had calmed down enough to where they could understand what he was saying. 

 

"Hunk, what happened? Why are you crying?" Shiro asked. 

 

"Because Lance yelled and cussed at me." Everyone was quiet. Keith was the first one to react. 

 

"That's it, I've had it." Keith picked himself off the ground and started walking down the hall. 

 

"Wait, Keith, where are you going?" Shiro chased after Keith and noticed that he was heading towards Lance's room. 

 

"I'm tired of Lance's behavior. I'm going to go talk to him." Shiro knew that he wouldn't be able to change Keith's mind. 

 

"Keith, don't do anything drastic. Don't do anything you will regret." Shiro said trying to reason with the red paladin. 

 

"Trust me, I know what I'm doing." Shiro, Hunk, and Pidge followed closely behind Keith as he made his way towards the blue paladin's room. When they arrived, Keith looked at the door and took a deep breath. He raised his hand and gave a knock. No one answered so Keith tried again. A couple knocks later, Lance opened the door with a smile on his face. 

 

"Hey guys, what are you all doing here?"

 

"Lance we need to talk." 

 

-^_^-

 

Everything went wrong very quickly. After talking to Lance about his behavior, he went berserk. He yelled and screamed which earned Coran and Allura's attention which brought them to Lance's room. Everyone was trying to calm Lance down, but it just made things worse. Then, as if it couldn't get any worse, Lance escaped. Lance ran away from the group and they received a notification that one of their escape pods were activated. 

 

"Lance, please, let us talk about this," Keith yelled at Lance through the metal door. Lance sat in the pilot's chair, face forward and gaze cold. He ignored the team's cries and focused on getting far away from them as possible. The countdown, signaling that Lance was ready for take-off. The team pleaded louder for Lance to come back, but their pleas fell on deaf ears. The countdown reached zero and like that, Lance was gone. They couldn't believe it. 

 

Voltron had lost their blue paladin. 


End file.
